500 Words A Day

[ARTWORK: Betty White] Yesterday, the sky over Los Angeles was pierced with a high-pitched ping from my phone, summoning me to the grand old Bullocks Wilshire Building while heading west down Wilshire Boulevard toward Santa Monica. This formidable fortress, once a sanctuary of commerce, is now inhabited by the schemers of The Southwestern Law School.…

Last night, I found myself ensconced in the leathered bosom of my rolling sanctuary, hard at work arranging the elaborate stage for my latest Uber caper. Like a mad scientist, I was reveling in the cerebral vibrations that come from designing the perfect passenger experience. The sky outside was pregnant with darkness, concealing all manner…

I remember that strange and hazy night, like a dream or a bizarre trip to another dimension. The electric pulse of a nearby dive bar reached out to me, a message in the static ether, a request for a ride from a woman with a 4.4 rider rating. Against my better judgment, for I typically…

I’ve been out there on the front lines of Los Angeles, driving the streets and meeting the freaks, the flotsam and jetsam of this sprawling metropolis, and I’ve been on a kind of twisted social experiment. I’ve been slinging compliments like a madman, seeing what sticks, what stirs the pot, what shakes up the souls…

Last night I got a ping from a woman named Kitty. I picked her up at a house near downtown Minneapolis. She had short brown hair and was wearing those thick intellectual glasses that middle-aged woman wear when they want the world to know how condescending they are. I asked her if she was having…

I am a Los Angeles driver with 7 years of experience and more than 18,000 rides overall. Over the last year, I’ve had the opportunity to use the Uber rental program while my primary Ubering vehicle is in the shop being repaired. Fortunately, I did not have to pay for the rentals and their increased…