500 Words

GUESS THEY'RE NOT PATRIOTS FANS

This ran in the electronic edition of Saturday, November 24th’s New York Post. Check out the line on the Patriots/Eagles game.

Technorati Tags: Current Affairs, Sports, Patriots, Cheating

A SONG FOR GATE D

The New York Times reported earlier this week about the crowds that surrounded the ramps leading to Gate D at Giants Stadium in the Meadowlands.

While I won’t go into detail about the incidents here, rest assured that this is old news. These things have been happening at the stadium for years during Jets games. Now that the Old Gray Lady has reported on it, this has become a nationwide story, picked up by television, radio, and print media.

Some will call it a scandal. Others will yawn and say that when your team is as bad as the Jets is, you take your entertainment where ever and whenever you can.

So, with apologies to the Beach Boys, we bring you the official song parody of the scandal, "Jets gate D":

(sung to the tune of "sloop john B")

We head over to gate D
My frat brother and me
Around the Meadowlands we did roam
Eight-buck beers all night
Looking for a bite
My team’s a joke yeah I want to go home

So walk up to gate D’s ramps
And hope to find all the tramps
Who’ll lift up their shirts
And maybe give me a bone, give me a bone
Oh please give me a bone, yeah yeah
You know my team sucks
Help me get a bone

The Pats’ HC is a skunk
Who acts like a classless punk
Taping the games, so the league gave them a fine
Tells The NFL
You can all go to hell, yeah yeah
You know their team sucks, we beat them at home

So walk up to gate D’s ramps
And hope to find all the tramps
Who’ll lift up their shirts
And maybe give me a bone, give me a bone
Won’t you give me a bone, yeah yeah
You know my team sucks Help me get a bone
(walk up to gate D’s ramps)
You know my team sucks, help me get a bone
Help me get a bone

The golf balls roll down the ramp
The quarters will get damp
We’ll pee on the kids who run and catch them all day
Find me a broad
Who’ll flash me dear gawd, yeah yeah
My team really sucks, help get me a bone

So walk up to gate D’s ramps
And hope to find all the tramps
Who’ll lift up their shirts
And maybe give me a bone, give me a bone
Oh please give me a bone, yeah yeah
You know my team sucks
Help me get a bone

Technorati Tags: Current Affairs, Music, Sports